Ren Seeks Help (Review)
Overview Apparently my vimeo account has... problems, so I'll be looking for a new place to host my FOX reviews. However, viacom I can deal with. Viacom, this piece of shit didn't stop me. Your copyright BS won't. Transcript Voice Over: Some viewers may find this disturbing— Mr. Enter (vo): Stop. Right. Heh, some viewers. I want you all to listen to me very carefully. First of all, if you don't know what a placenta is, you're too young to watch the review of this episode. As for the episode itself, I don't think that I'm old enough to watch the actual episode. But here we are. I've reviewed many terrible episodes from a variety of different cartoons. And I thought that I could take on anything. But this one almost tapped me out. It can change who you are. Beyond just giving you nightmares, or making you think that the writer's a sadistic fuck. It has the ability to kill hope. It has the ability to kill sanity. It has the ability to kill innocence. I may be going down here, but I'm bringing this fucker down with me. (Intro) Mr.Enter (vo): 'Before we begin, let's find out how we got here. After Viacom bought out Nickelodeon, they made stupid decision after stupid decision. We've already established that, but here was one of their worst: reviving Ren & Stimpy as an adult cartoon. An Adult ''Party Cartoon if you will. I would say that this gives a good argument for censorship, but this is actually what a cartoon would be like if the censors were reversed. I'm getting all kinds of conflicting reports because no one wants to take the blame and I don't blame them, but the executives kept forcing in let's call them adult themes.That being said, John K made the first episode of the Adult Party Cartoon, Onward and Upward entirely out of gross out jokes because a fan asked him to and Richard Percel, the writer of this episode, moved on to SpongeBob and helped write such classic episodes as A Pal for Gary and Pet Sitter Pat, so no one is innocent here. Oh yeah, one of the guys who helped write this episode is working on a children's cartoon. Fan-fucking-tastic. They all helped create this demon and each one of them gets the blame.(sarcastically) Love the title card, by the way. This episode starts with the most pleasant of sounds. (Cuts to Stimpy crying hysterically on the bed and Ren looking on helplessly.) '''Mr.Enter (vo): Yeah, the first few minutes of this episode is incredibly annoying because it is literally three straight minutes of Stimpy crying. (Caption: "How can you say those horrible thing to me?!) Stimpy: 'How can you say those HORRIBLE thing...to ME?! '''Mr.Enter (vo): '''And having shitty grammar. Also, you'll notice that the original voices didn't come back. '''Ren: '''I'm sorry, Stimpy! I don't know why I do these things to you! '''Mr.Enter (vo): '''They thought that this new show was too raunchy. I wonder why? But even as someone who didn't watch the original, even I notice that Ren's voice is off. Maybe they were trying to make him sound older, but it's just really distracting. (''Stock music plays in the background while Ren starts to cry over Stimpy's hysterical crying. Cuts to a clip from Dusk's Dawn.) '''Mr.Enter (vo): Literally all the sound effects in this episode are stock. No, really, I have some of these sound effects saved on my computer and I was able to get them for free. People use these sound effects in amateur YouTube projects. Ren: '''I know I'm insane, Stimpy. '''Mr.Enter (vo): Want to remember that for me? It's the only line in the scene that really has any importance whatsoever. Ren decides to seek help to control his vile urges. His words, not mine. Stimpy: 'Don't do it for me. Don't do it for me! Do it...for YOURSELF! (''Caption: Not knowing whether they're being serious or comical is going to be a constant problem with this episode and its biggest problem.) 'Mr.Enter (vo): '''Is this supposed to be some kind of joke? Otherwise, they're just beating on the point that Ren really screwed up. Something they've been hammering in for the last two minutes of this 22 minute episode. (''Caption: "I'm gonna kill you.") 'Stimpy: '(incoherently) I'm gonna kill you... 'Mr.Enter (vo): '''Hey, Stimpy, you're getting a little ahead of me here, wait til the peeps at home figure out what this guy did first. Wait for it and three, two, one. (''Stimpy's hysterical crying breaks the house while Ren flinches from the sound outside.) 'Mr.Enter (vo): '''OW! Thanks for that, jackasses! Utters? Uh, w-what? Okay, bloated utters. I-I-I don't get the joke. Farmer Jim better get to work before he gets charged with animal neglect, but that's about it. What you will notice very quickly is that scenes drag a lot in this thing. It feels like a seven minute episode, but as I said prior, it's extended to 22 minutes and a lot of people say that this is the Adult Party Cartoon episode that has the strongest plot. (''Caption: A no-plot 22 minute episode is worse than a heinous 11 minute episode, but a heinous 22 is worse than a no-plot 22 minute episode.) Personally, I prefer no plot over the plot that they decide to tell here. This walk cycle is entirely pointless; sure they try making a joke, but it doesn't really make much sense. You know, it just hit me, this walk of shame would probably work better as a second act where we already saw what he did and then we see him feeling guilty about it. When you're playing it for drama, that's what you have to do; you can't just suggest that Ren did something horrible, you've got to show what he did. Eventually and I do mean eventually, Ren makes it to a place simply called Help and the walk cycle continues until he gets to Dr. Mr. Horse. (Dramatic stock music plays when Ren enters Dr.Mr.Horse's room.) 'Mr.Enter (vo): '''Okay, professionals, if you're going to use that stock sound effect, you only use it when there's supposed to be some tension. He is going to a therapist and Mr. Horse isn't threatening in the slightest. Speaking of that, this is you last chance. (''Caption: Some viewers might find this disturbing. Viewer discretion is adviced.) This is where the episode brings us to Hell. It's going to show you some fucking screwed up things and I'm not going to censor anything. Doing so would defeat the purpose of this review. Everyone out who wants to go out (Caption: except me obviously)? Good. Ren says that he needs help and then as slowly as possible asks if he should lie on the couch. (Ren climbs on the couch while voices are superimposed over it.) '''Ren: '''See me do it? '''Mr. Horse:(off screen) I see you doing it. Ren: 'I've done it. '''Mr. Horse: '(off screen) Yes, you have. 'Mr.Enter (vo): '''Oh for the love of God, really? You added voices in ''after the episode was animated? (Shows clip from ''Puppy in My Pocket) I'd expect this in some kind of low-budget kid's movie where the professionals incorrectly assumed the kids needed constant talking to stay entertained... (''Back to ''Ren Seeks Help) ...but this was aimed at adults! It was aired on a television show for adults! I assume that you put some effort into it. (''Clip from ''Ctrl-Alt-Delete)'' Some of the lowest budget shit that I've ever seen didn't have this problem. Ren begins to say what a terrible person he is. 'Ren: '''I'm not crazy or anything! '''Mr.Enter (vo): '''Oh, don't worry, I don't actually think Ren is crazy. '''Mr.Horse: '''Of course not, Mr. Hoek. '''Mr.Enter (vo): '''Okay, seriously? Ren never told Dr. Horse his name. This wouldn't bother me so much, but they had three minutes of nothing and then they dubbed over fully animated footage. You think that someone could have noticed that Ren never told Mr. Horse his name. Mr. Horse calms him down and wants to see how sick Ren really is. '''Ren: '''Should I tell you about my childhood? '''Mr.Enter (vo): '''Please...please don't. '''Ren: '''Long ago, it was dark...(''gasps) and stinky! 'Mr.Enter (vo): '''He actually remembers being in utero. I-I'm not kidding, we see a Ren fetus head towards the light, so to speak. We see some nurses smoking in the operating room because of course there is and then the doctor slaps Ren across the body and yeah, I-I-I really wanted to see a naked newborn Ren just like I wanted to see the doctor slice the umbilical cord and have blood spray everywhere, and you know what I definitely wanted to see? Bambi coming into the hospital and eating the placenta. More importantly, Ren decides that he doesn't want to be hurt, but he wants to inflict pain on others.That was where scene number one's over; there are like four more to go, by the way. So Ren starts pulling the legs off of a caterpillar one by one and we get to see this while the caterpillar screams in agony. I said that Ren isn't insane, but doesn't this strike you as crazy? Let's talk about the difference between crazy and evil because the writers clearly don't know what that is. Crazy follows a logic that is foreign to the real world, evil follows real world logic to do heinous acts. Ren understands that pain is bad, he just wants to inflict it on others. If he thought that pulling the legs off the caterpillar while we are forced to hear his screams of agony would be helping him in some way, Ren would be crazy. No, instead, he just wants to inflict pain because he gets enjoyment out of it. That-that is literally evil and this scene, like the others, goes on and on. I don't think I'm shedding a light on anything when I say that this is obscenely hard to watch, like I don't know if the writers think that because they're doing it to animals, it's supposed to be funny, but it's not. For one, the animals in this episode don't deserve it unlike say Tom from Tom and Jerry and two, it's not even attempting to be comedic. Onto the next scene. Ren found a tick. Yeah, he licks the tick with his tongue, I-I think, I don't know, it has a stinger on it for some reason. '''Ren (vo): ' The other kids loved Christmas, but my favorite holiday of the year was always Mr. Firecracker Day. 'Mr.Enter (vo): '''Okay, what's the point here? Yes, I know, it shows that Ren is fucked up in the head, but why? The show is supposed to be a comedy, right? If it's supposed to be a psychological thriller, then Ren needs more of a reason than he was slapped as a baby. If he was bullied at school, or if his parents were abusive, then maybe, but instead, it seems to be trying to make a horrific story comedic and it fails horribly. Eventually, Ren finds his first frog and begins poking and prodding it. I'm telling you guys right now, it's not going to get any easier from here on out, it really isn't. He starts out by shoving fireworks up the frog's ass, then he rides a tricycle on the frog until the guts go flying out of his mouth. During the original recording, I walked away. I tried telling myself that it's just a cartoon, but it's not, it's not really. Then Ren hooks up some jumper cables on the frog and electrocutes him! (''Cuts to A Pal for Gary) Then he moves on to a housecat. Oh sorry, that's just the writer. No, Ren has other problems in mind, but first... (The frog suddenly catches fire.) 'Frog: '''WHYYYYYY?! '''Mr.Enter (vo): '''God, that is going to plague my nightmares. Oh wait, it already is! Ren decides that it's finally time to end the frog, but when the frog begs for Ren to do the deed. He refuses. '''Frog: '''Haven't I suffered enough?! '''Ren: '''Hmmmm....no.(''Drops the hammer) 'Mr.Enter (vo): '''To think that I once hated characters as tame as Peggy fucking Hill and Buck fucking Cluck! Even not watching the original Ren and Stimpy, I know that Ren was never this screwed up. I mean even Patrick Star, Brian Griffin, whoever the hell isn't this screwed up. Yeah, they're trying to show me that Ren is screwed up, but why? It's obviously not to tell jokes; Hell, if this is their idea of comedy, then these are people I legitimately never want to see in my lifetime and if I do, I'm never gonna let any animals near them, that's for sure. But as a horror story, it doesn't work (''Caption: Even if it fails to make any of them funny) because you can't follow something that tried to tell jokes for 22 minutes with this. Not to mention that this bastardizes an already established character. Not to mention there are many areas where they're trying to tell jokes. Then Ren starts smoking. This joke doesn't work because they already did the "people are smoking they shouldn't be" joke. Look, Ma, no backgrounds in this aired on television cartoon. Oh yeah, this was aired on TV, Spike TV to be precise. Ren says that he thought sleeping that night was great so Mr. Horse pulls out a gun. Ren apparently slept right through that night even though the frog taps on the window. Ren shuts the window and goes back to sleep. Sometime later, Ren returns home from school, but is stopped by his father with another stock sound effect which really does kill the dramatic mood. Wait a minute, that's supposed to be Ren's father? Do some fucking research! Priests, Catholic ones at least, cannot get married. Yes, it's just a cartoon that probably has logical lapses, but there's absolutely no reason for him to be a priest. Okay, why the fuck does the frog have a human ear on his head? Where the hell did that come from? On second thought, I don't want to know. Then we see a live-action green hand for some reason and then we see Ren's mother puking on everything. God, I just got done with this kind of shit! Ren's father tells him that there's only one thing left for him to do and gives him a gun, but the mother freaks out. Then we get another stock sound effect and she hands him a chainsaw. They walk outside towards the finishing tree. (Ren's father slaps his wife on the face.) 'Ren's father: '(Badly synced) He's not a baby anymore. 'Mr.Enter (vo): '''Would you at least try to have the lip movements match what he says? The frog lies down and Ren starts the chainsaw in another scene that goes on way too fucking long. '''Ren's father: '''No one can say we didn't raise our boy right. '''Mr.Enter (vo): '(As Ren's father) If we could, then maybe we would hint at where all this shit was coming from. (normal) Now we get the chainsaw sex scene as I call it. Ren's parents start making out all while the sound of chainsaws are going on in the background. Wait a minute, I've actually heard sexual moaning overlaid with the sound of chainsaws in some other piece of media. Where was it? Oh yeah, The Path, a horror video game! Personally, I play a lot of horror video games and I don't think I've come across anything quite as disturbing as what's going on here. But if they're trying to tell a horror story, wouldn't that be a good thing? No, it tries to tell too many jokes for it to work as a horror story like having what sparks this be pretty much the most miniscule thing and overlaying with Bambi's bastardization. The episode wants to be funny, it wants to make Ren's demented nature comedic. Of course, Ren messes with a chainsaw and throws the frog out. It's also made extremely clear that the frog's in dire pain by being "comedicly" over-the-top. 'Ren: '''But soon came the onset of boo-pur-ty. (puberty) '''Mr.Enter (vo): '''I do NOT want to know! '''Ren: '''Then I met Stimpy. What a silly eediot. '''Mr.Enter (vo): ' Oh God, are we gonna learn just what he did? For those who don't remember, what Ren says what he did to Stimpy was terrible even for him and it was enough for this fuckwit to feel guilty about it! '''Ren: '''Why, I remember when I first slapped Stimpy. He hardly even felt it. '''Mr.Enter (vo): What the fuck's the point here? You're just telling us what we already know; it's not even shocking anymore. Ren: 'I hit him harder and harder, but he wouldn't go down! '''Mr.Enter (vo): '''Are you talking about attempting to murder Stimpy or plunge a toilet? Mr. Horse asks if Stimpy loves Ren and good God, what is wrong with Mr. Horse's face?! '''Ren: '''It's not like that. Stimpy's my friend, just a friend. '''Mr.Enter (vo): '''Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't Ren and Stimpy supposed to be a gay couple in Adult Party Cartoon? I'm just saying that because there's a whole episode where Ren knocks Stimpy up somehow. I'm complaining about it bastardizing the original and Ren and Stimpy's Adult Party Cartoon can't even get its own goddamn continuity right! Ren says that he did something so horrible that he doesn't even want to say it and of course we don't get to hear it. You know how this joke usually works? By having what Ren did be super innocent like accidentally leaving the toilet seat up. It wouldn't excuse anything else we've seen, but at least it would have completed the joke and have built up to something. Instead, it's not really much of anything. Hell, even the facial expressions don't really convey much;' we don't even get to hear a bunch of random words that could be noodle implements for either comedic or horror story. Speaking of jokes, some guy gives Mr. Horse a carrot in another joke that doesn't really go anywhere. Then Ren asks Mr. Horse what he thinks is wrong with him. In my opinion, the correct term is sociopathy. Haha, the horse was drawing breasts this whole time, nice. Then Mr. Horse proceeds to beat Ren up. '''Mr.Horse: '''You're fucking crazy! THAT's what's wrong with you! '''Mr.Enter (vo): '''Ah-ah-ah, evil, not crazy. '''Ren: '''You think I'm crazy?! What kind of a psychologist are you?! '''Mr.Horse: '''Psychologist?! Are you nuts?! I'm a horse! '''Mr.Enter (vo): '''And Ren's father was both a priest and Chihuahua, I don't get the joke here. It said that help can refer to like physical labor in which a horse could help you with. If that was the case, he was acting way too much like a therapist for the joke to be complete. Then Mr. Horse begins to, in his own words, beat the living hell out of Ren. It happens in a pretty brutal fashion, too. Also, I love all the little shortcuts they took to cut the animation budget. Finally, Ren fights back like a cat for some reason. Mr. Horse tries to fight with the gun, but Ren takes it and beats him presumably to death. Some animal control people arrive and try to wrangle Ren up, but then the Silent Hill sirens go off and Ren bites off one of their hands. Ren swallows it in a grotesque fashion and he gets all wrangled up. They escape out of there with some blood spurting on the floor. Finally, the frog appears out of nowhere, crawls as slowly as possible across the floor and tries to shoot himself. Instead, it turns out to be one of those bang guns and the frog lives on in even more pain despite the fact that he should have died years ago by now. And that's how the episode ends. Thank fucking God it's over. You know what the sad part is? People say that this is the best episode of Adult Party Cartoon. Is it? I don't know, I haven't watched any of the other episodes. And since this is the worst thing that I've ever reviewed thus far and probably ever going to review, I'm not going to watch the other episodes. I refuse to. If I'd have to guess as to why this is considered the best is that this episode does things other than try to gross people out in various ways, but it's too disturbing to be comedic and tries to tell too many jokes to be played straight and it gets so confused that it begins to feel like the disturbing shit ''is the joke that they're trying to tell. No matter what story they're trying to tell, it takes too long to get started, takes too long to do it and has next to no payoff. Most of the jokes they do tell are either gross or don't understand the basics of comedy. The production is shit; a lot of people keep telling you that it's supposed to be overly dramatic. Ren and Stimpy is supposed to be a comedy, it's always been a comedy. I'm not saying that it could only do comedy, but comedy is what you come to a show like this for. Going to this for dramatic tension is like going to Family Guy for political commentary, it just doesn't belong there. What do the other- what to the- what do the other episodes do? They be gross? Oh, they take care of a baby made out of shit. There's more ways to disgust a person than pure imagery. It's like why people hate A Pal for Gary more than The Splinter. In fact, you can probably call this episode the A Pal for Gary of all animation. Think about it, it starts off with nothing but sap, tons of animal abuse, disturbing content where it shouldn't be and a character bastardized to make the cruelty worse. But unlike A Pal for Gary, I felt a piece of myself die after watching this. I-I felt broken after watching this. Yes, I find this episode that horrificly bad. Signing out. Trivia In his review of "Ren Seeks Help", he describes the torture Ren is inflicting on the poor frog. Mr. Enter: Then Ren hooks up some jumper cables to the frog and electrocutes him! Then he moves onto a house cat! (a clip from "Pet Sitter Pat" pops up) Mr. Enter: Oh, sorry. That's just the writer. * He was originally gonna review truth or Square but moved it to Animated Atrocities 60 * '''Credits song: "True" from Silent Hill 2. * teentitanscomicfan7 Response is supposedly has a following in Eastern Europe yeah I know the review for this one's not out yet but since it may be out in a month or two I though it was worth mentioning Category:Animated Atrocities